hirquitalliency


Young human being making her way through life.

I wear Fezes now. Fezes are cool.

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff." - The Doctor

Sophia. 20 something, German and Dutch heritage, but grew up in Australia for more than 18 years of my 20 something years of life. I'm an arts/economics student, majoring in awesome majors.

Music. Nonviolence. Love. Compassion. Photography. Volunteering. Social Justice.


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blistering barnicles

#grief

“I will not say, do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

The day of receiving news that a friend had passed away is never a good day. 

Der Tod

Der Tod, das ist die kühle Nacht,

Das Leben ist der schwüle Tag.

Es dunkelt schon, mich schläfert,

Der Tag hat mich müd’ gemacht.

 

Über mein Bett erhebt sich ein Baum

Drin singt die junge Nachtigall;

Sie singt von lauter Liebe,

Ich hör’ es sogar im Traum.


(von Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)

Don’t cry for the lost, smile for the living.

Get what you need and give what you’re given

Life’s for the living so live it or you’re better off dead.

Song to remind me to smile and continue on. Song to remind to smile when I think of Opi. To not cry but laugh over the memories we made.

“Was man tief in seinem Herzen besitzt, kann man nicht durch den Tod verlieren.”

Johann. Wolfgang v. Goethe

Translation: If you keep someone in your heart, then you will not lose it through death.

The worst part, now that you are gone, are the times when I hear something that you would appreciate and now I can’t share with you. So everytime I hear german cabaret comedy, there is this internal sadness. I miss your laugh Opi, I miss your humour almost 9 months on.

“Sometimes there are things in our life that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes change may not be what we want. Sometimes change is what we really need. And sometimes saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you’ll ever have to do, but sometimes it’s saying ‘hello again’ that breaks you down and makes you the most vulnerable person you’ll ever know. Sometimes change is too much to bear, but most of the time change is the only thing saving your life.”

– Unknown (via theblackvogue)

Each day is a step forward, sometimes the ache disappears for a while
But only sometimes.
I think I have come to terms with the loss of him, but then again, didn’t I accept it months ago?!

Time heals all pain, some say.
Some days I’m sure of that phrase, some days I’m not.
It’s a day by day case.

One step at a time. 

6 months on

6 months on, it doesn’t hurt as much as did. Before.
Now it is just a dull ache, an ache that has never really left.
Sitting there, threatening to overcome my mental barriers,
My columns that keep myself together.

6 months on, and I miss him terribly.
I miss hearing him laugh, I miss him saying his phrases.
I miss my grandfather

4 months on…

4 months on, and I’m moving forward. Ever so slightly. Life without my pillar, my rolemodel, my rock, and it is improving. I’m glad that I have so much on in my life, because that means I can’t dwell on it and get bogged down by sadness. But when I pause, I realise how empty life is without him. 

4 months on, it still hurts like hell. 4 months on, and I miss hugging him. I miss seeing him smile when I did something dorky. I miss you Opi xx